MIZMARILYN'S MISSIVES

MIZMARILYN'S MISSIVES... THE MANIACAL MUSINGS ON THE MEANDERINGS, MISADVENTURES, AND MISHAPS OF A MISGUIDED MISCREANT...

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Sweetness and Light... .... ..... ?



Ok... so it's not ALL wonderful (grin)

and just in case you think I'm the ONLY one in the family who changes things... here's what my sister sent to me...

Friday, November 27, 2009

A GOOD Guard Dog...



Well... SOMEBODY has to watch the baby....

also a good babysitter, but not nearly as attentive... my nephew..


Mom was in charge of the OTHER dog, who is in training.. (grin).. for some reason, Mom wanted to hold the leash. This is a pretty good picture of my mother, who was really 'present' for our post thanksgiving lunch. It made us happy... and sad.



She also showed much more interest in the baby this time around... and some sweet person at Sunrise fixed her up so nicely...




There are some better days... not a lot, but they are jewels when they happen.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Do Kitties Dream?

They must.

Just now, Big Kitty started mewing slightly in her sleep... it was a distress confused mew, very unlike her real voice. She actually doesn't use her real voice often, only with strangers. I don't know if she's worried when they come or trying to talk to or impress them. She rarely talks to me, as I meet her every need.

Back to now.

I woke her up, petting her and talking to her. She was on the back of the couch, and she immediately came over and put her head on my forehead and just sat like that for a long time, finally starting to purr. She was reluctant to lose the contact (she's a head butt kitty as it is).

Was she dreaming of the lonely life she had before? or some scary place or treatment she knew?

I hope not...

But I'm here, just in case.

Friday, November 06, 2009

Egret.. in my front yard!!

I was sitting here, waiting for the termite guy when I saw this white THING. I thought, at first, that it was a sheet or something.

An Egret... in my front 'yard'... it's so beautiful! There are marshes north and south of here, but I've never seen one anywhere close to Manhattan Beach.

LOOK at that beautiful bird...

Egrets... I've Had a Few...


More pictures of the Egret...

I'm still astonished! I wanted it to stay! I went outside and it wasn't really afraid of me, but did watch me warily.. as do many of you!


LOOK at the way it's leg bends backwards...

soooo cool!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Four Generations....



So... My sister, My Mother, My Grand Niece and My Niece...


And Some of Mom ...

Mom's favorite face is sticking out her tongue... too bad she didn't catch the baby at it!!



and it seems, unbeknownst to us, that my brother in law has just been waiting to be a grandfather...



He keeps saying "Why do you have MY baby?" when anyone else holds her..

Seems my nephew likes his role too...

Family. ..

Gotta love 'em...

It's Not Cancer....

No... this isn't about me and cancer...

I'm going to rant...

Now, before I get truly started, I want everyone out there to know I don't take cancer lightly. I've lost bits and pieces of several family members to it, some naughty bits of my own to prevent it, and the lives of some incredible friends. I hate it. I've just finished that wonderful book, "Life's That Way" by Jim Beaver, and I hate it more than ever.. .

That being said, I have a rant to rant...

There are other things that are debilitating. There are other things that interrupt your life and the quality of it, although not nearly as devastating as cancer.

and yet..

all some specialist seems to want to be able to tell you is "It's Not Cancer".

While I understand that this makes them feel good in a way they sometimes don't get to feel, what I would ALSO like is to have them make some effort to know what it IS.

Medicine seems to be a practice (and there's a reason for that word) of eliminating what something ISN'T, and not always figuring out what is...

Example:

About 8 months ago part of my right breast turned bright pink. Bright dark pink... and itched.

I searched for the inevitable spider bite or kitty scratch or something, but couldn't find it. I lotioned it and tried not to scratch and it acted like a sunburn and finally peeled. I basically ignored it.

Then, about a month later, it did it again. So I went to my wise gynecologist and she recommended finding a dermatologist. I did, and she said she wished I'd gotten there when it was still bright pink. I told her I tried, even coming into the office at the time. I took pictures. I gave it names. She said "let's take a biopsy", (of WHAT?) in spite of the fact that I have no breast tissue left.

I didn't care. You can cut any part of me you wish. I've got plenty more.

So, I come back and she says ... wait for it... no... it's coming... "It's Not Cancer".

I never thought for one minute that it was. I suspect that she pronounced that because she DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS, although she came to a pretty wrong conclusion just the same.. She thought that I would ignore what she didn't know in my relief that it wasn't (shhhhh) cancer.

Oh.. and an aside?? Doctors out there?? IT'S OK TO SAY YOU DON'T KNOW.. rather than just make something up. Turning aside my question with a joke or a laugh or a pat or a 'make something up' is patronizing. and rude. At this point I'm pretty enlightened about my body, and I rarely ask questions I don't want answered.

Same with the colonoscopy I had after a gastrointestinal meltdown the size of Chicago. It's Not Cancer. I knew that. I've been having these episodes since forever. So I said to the girl who called me (NOT the doctor, of course, after all it's not cancer) so when do I see the doctor. Why? She asked. I said... I had this problem. IT'S NOT CANCER, so what should I do, do you think? I saw the doctor. She was perplexed by the visit. After all, IT'S NOT CANCER. I said, what should I do? Surgery? She said she could give me the name of a doctor if I wanted. I thought she was one...

and the detached vitreous(es) which, while I was told I would 'get used to them' have not. They are of no consequence as they are 'not cancer ( or dangerous or WHATEVER).

and... well...

Do you get where I'm going here? I'm writing an "Ode to the Uncaring (substitute unknowing, uninvolved, unenlightened here)
Doctor". It's going to rival Homer's Odyssey...

And while I cannot imagine how it would feel to get that diagnosis, I do wish that "they" would consider what else it might be if it's not cancer.

so..

I'm thinking about not seeing doctors anymore...

Maybe THAT will make everything feel better..

you think?