No, No, a Thousand Times.... Maybe?

June 23, 1938.

This is a series of excerpts from a letter my mother wrote to her mother. I'm not sure if she is making a case FOR or AGAINST abstinence! (grin) She was barely 18.

February 16, 1938

“Dearest Marmee,

Please don’t worry your dear sweet head with the idea that we might spoil our feeling for each other before we marry. We have one idea in mind. If it is good enough to last at all, it is good enough to last for a year. We definitely want to get married in September (they got married in June), because, as you say, the strain is rather terrific. ... I would give my right arm if you could be with me now so that we could talk things over (her mother was in Mobile, and phone conversations very extremely expensive). We really get so much fun just being together that we have not violated any of the laws. I mean it, and we are not going to either, because we both realize that in doing so we could destroy much of the wonderful part of being a bride and groom. (she goes on to talk about how capable and clever he is)...

You know, sometimes I think that we might be doing ourselves a wrong when we wait for long. We both long so much for each other that it is beginning to show on our health. Sometimes I think it would be better to marry now and relieve the terrific emotional strain. I try hard to study, but nothing has any interest to me unless my darling is right there, and Ed’s sales ability has dropped considerably since we have come to mean so much to each other. I hope we are doing the right thing, but it seems that this continual ‘holding back’ might have a derogatory effect upon us. I am so glad I can talk to you about these things. So many mothers can’t understand the problems their children face. You need never worry about us doings anything wrong.... This isn’t so with many of the gals I know. Three fourths of them have crossed the line and somehow it seems not to affect them very much. A fellow can’t love a girl very much if he will let his emotions how sway over his better sense for her health and safety. I know that Eddie loves me too much to do that, altho he sometimes wishes he didn’t love me QUITE so much... Kids nowadays seem to think nothing of it. Just like my ex roommate Rhoda. It seemed to make no difference to her. I can see how anyone can make a mistake, but how can se do so and sill continue to go out with anyone, regardless of her feeling for the first boy. ... I was brought up in the right way ... and it makes me so happy to realize that I bring myself clean and pure to my husband... “

On the 23rd of February she dropped out of school, went to Mobile until they got married in June. Her mother, who wrote nice letters to her and dad until she got back home, tried mightily to talk her out of it. Mom returned to L.A. on the 22nd of June, and they were married on the 23.