It's a Jolly Deadwood Christmas...

This is for those of you who have not seen it on the website...

T'was the night before Christmas in seventy six
and Deadwood was quiet, no one turning tricks
The old socks were hung on the barstools in hope
That someone would put there a huge ball of dope

The Gem it was silent with all gone to bed
With visions of gold dust alive in each head
Jane wrapped in Bill's robe and Doc in his cap
All had settled down for a short drunken nap

When out on the deck there arose such a clatter
All sprang to their feet to see what was the matter
A look at the thoroughfare showed them the cause
A sleigh! Oh look, reindeer.. and old Santa Claus!

On closer inspection the truth would be known
Not Claus there but WU, with a plan all his own
Since shouting AMERICA! that fateful night
Wu knew what he must do to make things aright

A bag full of gifts he had flung cross his back
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack
As all came so joyous to see what he wrought
He started to pass out the gifts that he brought

For Al a new kidney, to help him to piss
For E.B. some drugs for his hyperhidrosis
A smile for Seth to show off his teeth
And special for Richardson-an antler wreath

For Alma and Ellsworth a book about sex
And Sol got a whole bunch of muscles to flex
For Trixie a new kind of fancy machine
To count all her numbers, you know what I mean?

For Doc all the next men who 'die in their sleep'
And Charlie and Joanie a promise to keep
For our Dan a new fangled purty guitar
For Jewel a pup to sleep under the bar

For Silas and Johnny, A.W. and Tom
A peach can for each handed out with aplomb
A rosebush for Martha to plant by the house
And NOTHING for Cy, because he's such a louse!

A bathtub for Jane, so she needn't share
A doll for Sofia, with glass eyes, and hair!
When Wu's work was done, he sprang to his sleigh
And giving a Heng Dai, he sprinted away

But they heard him exclaim, while he drove out of sight
MERRY CHRISTMAS to all, and to all a good night!