Do I look any younger?

I dyed my hair red yesterday. Well, not DYED... temporarily colored. Every once in a while I get tired of the old gray and slap on a 'lasts through 28 washings' kind of hair color. Of course, since no OTHER rules apply to me, the color lasts for about 4 months, fading slowly until my gray is a burnished gold... sort of. Then I live with the quickly whitening extremely fine mass of hair until I repeat the process again. I don't permanently dye my hair because, like the rest of my life, I don't want to commit to anything.

What prompted this last attack on my wrinkles and saggy bits was the realization that this has been an OLD WEEK. Monday I went to the lawyer's office to sign my living trust, a document that could not have a more oppositional name. I sign this in anticipation that I won't survive my next trip, so that there is nothing living or trusting about it... and then on Tuesday, I slipped into the Social Security office and applied for Social Security retirement benefits. You know what that means. It means I'm getting old.... er. Yeah, yeah... don't give me all that crap about 62 not being old and you're only as old as you feel because, in anticipation of these events, my body has gleefully decided that this is the year it falls APART!... sigh...

I blew my knee bowling in 1988. I probably tore the meniscus at that time, but it didn't seem that problematic. Over the years it has not been a good knee, but we've had a kind of truce. I didn't ask it to ski and it didn't collapse on me at any given moment. A good relationship. Unfortunately, while caring for my stroke ridden mother (another sign of aging) it was slammed against her bed while I attempted to lift her and move her. It finally had enough, and I had the surgery in June. It's ... well... it's Ok. I think it's going to be unhappy with the up and coming trip.

If this wasn't fun enough, one Friday evening (of course) I was sitting and reading and the light show went off in my right eye. The good news was it wasn't a detached retina, just a detached vitreous. This happy happy joy joy moment means that, whenever I look anywhere, I am never alone. The vitreous, a blobby bunch of blobby shit now floats in front of my vision, led by the bundle of collagen that USED to attach it to the retina. oh.... boy.... I took care of it and did all that I should do. I even let them dialate BOTH eyes so the left eye wouldn't get jealous of all the attention. It didn't work. One month later the left eye, feeling massively left out of the process, blew the vitreous just to make things equal. Now I have TWO blobs led by TWO bundles (and the right eye, ever the leader, has just torn some other connection, sending yet another I.U.D. shaped collagen bundle off into the breach). I'm just thrilled... no.... really... It's all I ever really wanted.

honest...

I blame these events on the Social Security qualification... I truly do...

So I dyed my hair red yesterday...

Do I look any younger?